I’m Sure That I Don’t Know That I’m Sure

Upon beginning my new life as a university student I was informed that I would be required to make a blog for two of my subjects. So here it is.

I’m told that this is to be a ‘portfolio of my work for the future’, yet a large part of my reason for coming to uni was that I have no idea what I want my future to be. So what do I do here?

I know I want to write… or at least I think I know. In high school five out of my six subjects were writing-based. Yet I am now at such a level of self-reflection and burgeoning existential crisis that I find myself wondering whether I truly enjoyed writing or whether I enjoyed being good at it.

There is also the question of what to write about. After six years of essay and research topics being forced down my throat, I find myself unsure of what passions drive me to put my hands to a keyboard or pen to paper. Of what is that intangible interest or issue that will make me want to create something out of the ether to boldly parade before the world as mine.

I know I want to travel… although I’ve barely been out of my state, let alone the country. I’ve based half my degree on this high school-born desire to explore new places. But will this wanderlust last me the rest of my life? Or will it shrivel up and die when I eventually do travel and discover that I hate it? Or when I’m halfway through my thousands-of-dollars degree and decide that travelling to faraway countries doesn’t appeal as much as it did when I was anxiously waiting on my next set of results?

How am I supposed to plan my future when I am still discovering my present?

I guess we’re about to find out.